THE STYLE ETHOS AT SIMPLY START LIVING
Fresh from the move To Simply Start Living from The Online Stylist, I wrote this as a declaration about how I wanted incorporate and talk about style here. More specifically - what I’ve learned when it comes to my own wardrobe and shopping habits and how things have changed since the early days of style blogging. Despite leaving behind the moniker of Online Stylist, I knew that style would still form a big part of this digital home - understanding how and why we choose to express who we are through clothing will always be something worth pondering.
At the point I began to retreat from being a full-time style blogger and tried to get my head around why I wanted to make some course adjustments, I had to acknowledge that two opposing factors – one impacting the other – played a part in my withdrawal from the place I’d worked hard to get to.
In one corner was a world slowly waking up to the concept of fast fashion and its highly damaging effects on the environment and our planet in the longer term. In the other, the continually expanding raft of bloggers and influencers now able to monetize their platforms by promoting, recommending and generating sales of clothing to readers and followers. As with all things in life, this fledgling career of online influencing runs the gamut from those who do it with authenticity, thought and care; balancing Ads in with content they create for enjoyment, connection and inspiration; through to those who favour strategy over substance and have a pure In It For The Money approach. For the latter no real allegiance to brands or style tribes seems to be demonstrated - any will suffice. There’ll be multiple Ads for wide-ranging and often out of context subject matter and a continual stream of “this (whatever “this” might be), is the new best thing you MUST have!” shoehorned into every narrative.
Whilst I always carefully consider any brand campaign or gift offering before accepting it, which means turning away 80% of proposals, I fully admit there’s been times when I’ve felt uncomfortable at the thought that I was swimming in the same pool as the income-hungry fish. Thereby adding to the problem in a guilt by association way. On top of that was the amount of clothing I’d amassed via years of bad shopping habits and the aforementioned gifting, offered when blogging and forty-somethings showing you their outfits on Instagram was a relatively new concept. As admitted here, the shopping had often been about the buzz obtained from the process, acting as a temporary sticking plaster to heal how I felt. Ditto the purchases I made as an influencer who had been influenced by a peer.
When I began to envisage what Simply Start Living could be, the words “fresh start” were a constant in my imaginings – a disassociation from the days of blogging excess and a place for more care and consideration with choices. And alongside that was the thrilling realisation that as my fiftieth birthday approached, I’d never been more in tune with my style or felt I knew how to dress in a way that was truly representative of the me of now. It was for those reasons that I always knew that style would still form a big part of this platform.
There were also readers on their own paths to midlife, some of whom had been along for the ride since I first started blogging, who were telling me that they finally felt they too knew what was working for them too. Some of what they were drawn to was similar to my style (because your vibe really does attract your tribe), and yes please, they’d like to see more style inspiration from a woman who represents the life stage they now found themselves in. I sometimes get the feeling that in certain circles, the concept of a woman, particularly a midlife woman, choosing to share her outfit details on Instagram or in a blog post will raise a curious eyebrow and proffer the question “But why on earth would you want to do that?”
But as a woman in midlife who at various points felt like she completely lost her way – both in the wardrobe and in the world in general – I see much value in talking about style and how it can be so impactful when it feels like its finally fallen into place. When we have an “I feel a bit shit about myself” moment, it’s a positive that inspiration for getting dressed to raise confidence levels is a mere tap or scroll away. I believe that wearing something you love and feel great in can be transformative. And it doesn’t even have to necessitate an additional purchase – I’ve lost count of the times I’ve turned in desperation to my Instagram Style Saved folder and realised I have the almost identical combination of a look I’ve previously double-tapped on, right there ready to be recreated.
With my own wardrobe contents finally purged some years ago - the excess clothing sold, donated or passed to friends (and a few friend’s daughters) - it’s been a breath of fresh air to hone in on my midlife style. This post was initially written in early 2019 and on editing it for a 2022 re-write, I’m happy to report that sticking with my formula of Minimal, Relaxed & Effortless has made everything feel calmer.
I guess the foundations of the style ethos for Simply Start Living are built on the back of these true stories from over the years…
There is no price tag on style. The black tux jacket I bought on the High Street some years ago was the best quality tux I could find for my budget at the time and is still going strong. And when I wear it with a silk shirt underneath and a pair black crepe trousers, you wouldn’t know if it was £60 or £600.
The once in a lifetime purchase might not be life changing. Over the years I toyed with the idea of owning THE bag but changed my mind several times about which one might be THE one. It’s a good job I didn’t make the purchase as my style has evolved since then and now I no longer feel the need to own THE one. A simple tote from my favourite Scandi store does the job better.
Wear what you love as often as possible. Get dressed like every day is important enough to want to feel your best. I’m not talking working from home in a power suit and heels here. Maybe pulling on that cosy cashmere sweater in winter or the beautiful white cotton dress in summer just because. Somehow it makes me feel that I value myself more and that in turn that makes me happier.
Buy with care and know your reason why. I know I can’t afford to be careless when it comes to parting with my style sterling - not just for the sake of my wallet but for the sake of the environment too. The questions I always ask… Do I love it on me if I saw it one someone else first? Will I wear it on repeat? Will it stand the test of time? Will it really make my self-doubt go away or am I just kidding myself? Clothes can make the woman but they can’t change her into someone else.
Know your style… and stick with it. Others may bemoan the lack of colour in my wardrobe and wonder how on earth I’m inspired by all the shades of beige to grey and back again. They may tell me that when I wore that red dress, it really suited me and I should “wear more colour!” And yet, whilst I enjoyed the compliment and the brief flirtation with different, the whole time I wore it something felt off. I wished I was in a black dress instead. And then I finally worked it out… I know me best.
